My birthday is coming up soon and I suddenly realize that somewhere I will be having my 22nd birthday. Scary shit indeed.

For some reason I am believeing that my biological clock is clicking like Maris Tomei's character in "My Cousin Vinny". A stamping that's ringing in my ears to get the fuck off my duff and get out of town. I don't know really what to say, mainly that I am scared out of my wits. I normally don't adhere to the the wants and expectations of society, but in this case, the line is clearly drawn in the sand and when I cross it, it's a matter if I sink or swim.

Perhaps I really dont know what the fuck I want to do, and if I do, who would want to hire me? a 23 year old graduate who should've graduated when he was 21, 22? I just feel pathetic sometimes really, moreso than others. Yet still it's this immature facet of me thinking that I'm the hottest shit on earth that warrents some kinda problem with me. In fact I know that I'm basically the imperfect perfectionist, when something doesn't go my way, I abandon it. I can't accept failure as an inbetween because then I don't care really.

Somehow I have to be more brave and face the problems I have and never avoid them. Fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. God damnit I hate it. Life is never easy when you are a chicken-shit so it seems.

I need to get out of here......anywhere other than here. I hate it here really. It's the most dispecable place on the planet because it reminds me of failure....it makes me feel like shit sometimes. God I hate it all.