It's been nearly a month since my self imposed exile from my usual internet watering hole SRK.com. And I'm feeling something more than any long stint away from the place. I'm feeling withdrawal symptoms. If anything the past few weeks are an eye opener to what my life has amounted to in the past few years. This is quite different from the time I've injured my leg, or when I went into hiding for less dishonourable reasons than this. Because this time I feel that I can't quite return, or at least return in such a way that allows me the same lenience or status as before. The previous times I could have came back with no ill will but this time...there is something more permanent.

I suppose this is what people who fight addictions have. The longing for going back, but the same revulsion of wanting to go back. Without SRK.com I feel empthy all the time, like I'm missing something that only it could fill. This isn't to say that my life hasn't improved, it actually gotten worst because of the full realization of how much effort or time I put into SRK.com. And yet when I go to other websites, I can't possiblly forge new relationships about it all. I mean I grew up with SRK.com....it's a part of me as much as I'm a part of it. And in the end it's just a generally better conversation piece from people. I'm familiar with it.

I knew one day I'd have to give it up, but I never envisioned it to be like this...in disgrace. In disappointment. All in all, it did end and it only supports the ideal that people are bastards not because of their personality, but because of a string of moments that make them so. It's only up to them to see how often they would do it.